New blog..

Posted by Stephine on Sunday, August 14, 2011.

I just created a blog over at I will not be deleting this blog as the whole thing basically journal'd my son's life, from the moment he was born.. and even before that. I just don't feel that I can blog here anymore. It's not right. This was for him and it always will be.

I just want to mention that the blog I'm directing you to will be a personal blog. I will blog about my son, my journey of losing a child, but I'll also blog about beauty, reviews on multiple things including baby (possibly), beauty, etc. I'll be blogging about my daily life not including the baby, even if that includes rambling about whatever. I eventually will be buying a domain name, but I'm a blogger at heart and I need a place to let it all out. If you would like to join me on this journey to.. wherever.. come over and follow me there :)


Posted by Stephine on Thursday, August 4, 2011.
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We love you so much baby boy.

07.23.11 - 08.01.11

Baby Silas is here!

Posted by Stephine on Thursday, July 28, 2011. Filed under: ,

I promise I haven't been a bad blogger, I just went from being pregnant to a mommy within 2 hours and as I'm sure you realize, it was a shock to all of us. Silas Hunter Beck was born on 7/23/2011 at 2 pounds 7 ounces, 14 inches long.. I was only 26 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I'll try to remember it all, but the past few days have been a whirlwind.

I had Braxton Hicks the night before, like always. I finally fell asleep and at 6:15 the next morning I was woke up by them.. nope, they weren't going away and were getting painful. Oh crap, I'm constipated. As the day goes on, I call my doctor and she tells me to take Milk of Magnesia, lay down, etc. An hour later I'm in so much pain, especially in my back, and my mom comes to see what's going on. My back is killing me and I'm getting these pains every 2-3 minutes. We call the doctor and head up to the hospital.. that was not a fun ride. I get up to labor and delivery, she checks me (at this point I had started bleeding) and I was fully dilated and effaced. Ultrasound said baby was head down. All she could feel was my water about to break.

At this point I knew I had no chance of turning back and I was terrified. I did not want to have my baby yet. They rushed me into the delivery room, broke my water (niagra falls, hi!), and I started pushing. At this point I had labored 5-6 hours at home, so natural it was. I pushed for 30-35 minutes, baby's head was right there but he wouldn't come out. My arms were numb from my fingers to my elbows from my breathing, I couldn't push right (they said I did really good though), and he just wasn't coming out. They gave me a break (I think they gave me a little pitocin?) for 20 minutes or so and then my contractions just keep getting worse so I started again for another 20-25 minutes.

At this point, I started panicking and baby's heart rate started to drop when I did that. She put a monitor on his head (poor baby has a scab now, same one I have) ..that tells you how close he was. The anesthesiologist came in to explain what would happen in case of an emergency c-section, I freaked out, 5 minutes later I was heading that way. I screamed because I've never been put to sleep before, my anxiety was sky high, they wouldn't let anyone go back with me.. even to be put to sleep. The mask was horrible, it felt like I was being suffocated and my throat started burning, by then I had woke up from my c-section and was now a mommy.

my love got me my favorite flowers and got silas a bear :)

They let me wake up a little. It took a good half hour to be able to open my eyes, but I was talking and stuff as soon as I woke up.. as much as I could. They had to put a tube down my throat for the surgery and it didn't feel good when I woke up, thank god it was already out though. They brought baby to me so that I could see him, so tiny. The pediatrician came in and told me they were rushing him to Children's Hospital, which is about 30-40 minutes from where we live.

From there I spent 3 days in the hospital, trying to recover. I've got a cut across my belly with stitches and staples. I wouldn't even look at it for the first day or so. Donnie still hasn't seen it. I started pumping as soon as I could and that has been going good.

We're staying at a place right by the hospital. I'm not a fan since I'm not even comfortable in my new apartment, but we're very close to baby and this is how it has to be. Gas is to expensive to come here all the time. We're gonna be here at least 2 months, maybe 3.

I got to hold him for the first time 2 days ago. I was terrified I was going to hurt the little guy, but it felt so good when it happened. Donnie held him yesterday (and I didn't bring the camera!) and he loved it.

our little family <3

Baby is doing really good. He's 5 days old now. He had jaundice for a little bit, he had to get a blood transfusion, he had a brain scan. Everything is going amazing. We've got so many prayers and they are really helping. All of the support we've got is really awesome.

How To: Plan a Baby Shower

Posted by Stephine on Thursday, July 21, 2011. Filed under:
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Or maybe I should title this post "How to plan a baby shower when you've waited until the month before".. FYI: I don't even have invites yet and they should go out a month before the shower. That would be today for me! Lucky me (and lucky you) I'm an organized person when it comes to this stuff. Though, I've never planned a party in my life, I'd like to say I'm a pretty good last-minute baby shower planner so follow me through this quick journey. I'll give you directions on exactly how to get things together.

P.S. You might not have the same outcome. I did all of this planning yesterday, but I spent about 8 hours on the computer, skipped my shower, have no kids (yet), and my mom printed some of the following out for me before hand. However, give yourself a few hours a day to do this and you'll be set.

What you NEED:
- a pen
- a notebook! $1 at the dollar store.. my savior!
- access to the internet for tons of ideas!

This is the main thing you need: a pen, a notebook, and a folder!

My mom printed out a bunch of for me to go through (she used for the shower. This was a big help because thinking of games yourself is stressful if you've never done it before. I wrote down all the games that I wanted to do. What I was going to do was cut out the games I wanted and tape them to the paper to save time, but I like writing stuff down and I changed a few games to my liking - which ever works for you!

My list of games, I'll share these later on!


This is what I put in first, all the addresses that I need to send invitations to. Make sure you at least try to get these ahead of time. I got most of them, but I'm still getting a few here and there and that's not easy when you're trying to order the invitations!

Keep track!

I have a lot of out of state family that lives in Michigan and although I know they can't come, I still want to send them an invite. What I'm doing is ordering my invitation on Etsy (if all goes as planned) and it's a digital invitation. This makes in easy because it's going to cost me $12.00 for the ONE invitation.  Then I can go to Walmart and print these out. I looked it up yesterday and a 4x6 paper print starts at like $0.09! And instead of having 30+ invitations to print (or buy) I can email the out of state family their invitations which saves me a crap ton since stamps are $500 a piece :)

Write down all materials you need for the games you've chose.

Most games, the winner gets a prize. 

Writing down ideas helps or you can look on Etsy (I've been loving Etsy for this planning stuff, I've never used it before) for little prizes or just run to your local dollar store for cute stuff.

Make a list of everything you want to include in your invitation.

The last thing you want to do is forget some information when you send out your invites. Now of course I don't want all of this junk on the actual invitation so I wrote down stuff that will go on the actual invitation (time, date, place, rsvp number, etc) and then seperately I'll include directions/a map and another paper that has extra info that I'll want everyone to know.

One thing I'm doing for people who can't make it (if you have out of state friends and family) is giving them my address and telling them that they are free to start sending gifts if they choose to do so. This gets the stuff out of their way and it will be here in time for the shower. We all know waiting for the mail is stressful as it is, lol. As you can see, I was sure to add "write baby shower" on the package so that it will be saved in the baby's room for the day of the shower.

This is all I have for now, but you'll probably see Version 2.0 soon!

Baby Shower Ideas Version #1

Posted by Stephine on Wednesday, July 20, 2011. Filed under:
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Happy 5 year anniversary to the love of my life and father of our monster! :)

Yeah.. my baby shower is in a MONTH and I'm just now getting on the ball with all this stuff. It's just been so busy with moving and everything else. Here's the ideas I'm having so far.. we need to get the invites out asap (the shower is August 21st therefore they should be out by tomorrow at the latest and I don't even have any) and here are a few things I've found on Etsy that I like. I may order these or just go to Michael's or another craft store and make them myself.. this is just to keep me organized.

*I am helping plan my baby shower. I TOLD my mom and my best friend that I was going to help. This may not be traditional, but it's very special to me and I want to help plan.. in case anyone is wondering.

*All pictures belong to their Etsy sellers! I don't want to post who is selling what because I don't want someone to take it (most things are a one-time thing but can be custom made too), but if someone would like their photo credited, just email me and I will add it on!

*When I get the funds to get started, I think I've found my new work from home job! :) I would have so much fun making all of this stuff for people!!

7/8" 2 yards Ribbon $2.99 + $1.19 shipping

Obviously with the orange/blue/white theme
$12.00 sent to you & you print yourself - no shipping

Favor ideas, but pricey.. so just an idea

Made with 6 washcloths - can make myself - possibly decoration on main table
$8.00 + $6.00 shipping, does come in box with ribbons
Kinda the colors I'm thinking of, but a little brighter blue

One of the first 'favors' I looked at.. can make myself too.
1-30 kits $0.90 / 31-60 kits $0.80 / 61+ $0.70
Each kit includes bag, ribbon, and clothes - no candy included
Shipping fee depends on amount

This again would be main table decoration
4 cupcakes includes 4 size one diapers, 2 pairs 0-6 socks,
 4 baby washcloths, and packaging shown in the second picture.
$20.00 + $8.00 shipping

I'm sure there will be more to come. As you can see, I THINK I'm liking the zoo animal theme, brighter colors.. blues, whites, oranges, yellows.. maybe some reds in there. 

26 weeks pregnant

Posted by Stephine on Monday, July 18, 2011. Filed under: , ,
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Isn't it insane that I have the rest of this week left and then I'll be in my third trimester? It's actually kinda scary how 2 months ago I had just found out I was 4 weeks pregnant (okay.. that wasn't two months ago) and now I'm 6 1/2 months! I'm scared to see how fast it flies by once I'm busy with baby every day and don't have time to even think about how old he's getting, but just like pregnancy, I'll cherish it all.

This week, my main symptoms are kicks to the stomach (go figure!) that are getting stronger, a rolling baby, and hello-more-braxton-hicks! Yep, those suckers are coming full force now. I've only had 2 since I woke up, but for the past 3 days, they've been almost constant. Nothing to be worried about, my doctor says no more than 6 in a hour.. although my body is pushing that some hours. I think it's because baby is rolling around and moving so much more.. and I'm pretty sure he's turning. How do I know you ask? I'll show you.

Yeah.. he's getting bigger, somehow! Or well like I said, I think he's turning and hopefully getting into position to stay head down. It's so cool to watch my belly transform.. and kinda nerve wracking, lol.

I use Baby Gaga on Facebook and it says not only do I have just 14 weeks left (Holy crap, no I don't have a crib or anything yet! Money is tight this month), but baby's eyes are open this week :) And he can start moving his head around.. that's probably why he's tumbing and turning so much, haha.

Other than that, things are going good. I have that stupid 3 hour glucose test on Friday morning. I'm just praying that 1) It doesn't make me sick 2) I pass! I'm really nervous that I have GD just because baby is so big, but I don't think he's much bigger than he's supposed to be, I think he's just a big boy to begin with and I carry him all out front.

Oh yeah, symptom of the day: ITCHY BELLY!

Super Duper (Cute!) Hello Kitty Giveaway!

Posted by Stephine on Friday, July 15, 2011. Filed under:
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I haven't posted in a few days because there isn't much going on besides a child who won't get out of Mommy's ribs today. Anyway, I know lots of ladies love Hello Kitty or have a daughter (or son!) who love her too, so here's a Hello Kitty giveaway for you to go check out, it's so cute :)

She has more detailed pictures of everything in the blog post, so click the link under the picture and see if it's something you're interested in! If not, she has a cute blog with many other things to read!

Moved In, 25 weeks, & Braxton Hicks!

Posted by Stephine on Monday, July 11, 2011. Filed under: , ,
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Since this is a baby blog, I'll post my 25 week picture first :) This is at 25 weeks 1 day since I have no idea where my is at, lol.. but I turned 25 weeks yesterday.

I had my glucose test on Friday, that was.. interesting. It definitely wasn't as 'good' as I was hoping. I was hoping to just down the drink and be done, but it was like drinking a pound of orange syrup sugar in a small cup. It wasn't much, but boyyy was it strong! It didn't make me sick thank god, but it didn't set well. And my goodness that after taste lasts alllll day, lol. All in all, I was fine of course.. hoping for no phone call this week so that I know I passed! :) I feel good about it.

My blood pressure was good & baby's heart rate was 142bpm :) It was funny as she was using the doppler, she was like 'man, he's active!' and asked Donnie if he could see my belly moving, haha. I told her what he weighed at his last ultrasound and she said it's not bad, but he's big already, lol.

Onto our apartment, we're finally moved in :) Saturday morning we went finally got to borrow a truck and my mom and her boyfriend helped us move everything in. We found a church that had a free couch so we had them help us (well, boyfriend) load that up. It's not the best, but I put a nice blanket on it and it's perfect for us! We're very happy with it. I'm still kinda scared, but that's my anxiety. I'm just not used to being there at all, but I'm still comfy knowing it's our own place. It's so amazing to walk by baby's room :).. even though it's got nothing big in it, haha.

I've been having BH since about 19 weeks, which my doctor assured me was normal. After moving Saturday night we were watching a movie and at about 8-8:30 I started having non-stop Braxton Hicks (stronger than ever before) for a good 30-45 minutes. I laid on the couch, on my left side.. I did everything and they weren't going away. They were coming every 2-5 minutes, Donnie was watching me and was starting to get nervous, and then I started to cry because I got really scared. Boyfriend got me the phone and number and we finally called up to Labor & Delivery. 

She told me to take some Tylenol, drink a few glasses of water, and lay down for an hour and if I had more than 6 in the next hour than I had to come in.. but it worked! I had 3 strong ones after that hour and then through the night I was getting them randomly, but definitely nothing abnormal. She agreed, as I figured, it was probably from being on my feet all day moving and organizing it all!

First Apartment Buys!

Posted by Stephine on Wednesday, July 6, 2011. Filed under: ,
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So we get to move into our apartment on Friday (after my glucose test, lol)! Pretty much only one day left to wait since today is almost over :) We got to go look at it today and that was super exciting. It's actually bigger than we expected and we were both happy with it. I talked to the landlord and he prorated our rent since we're moving in halfway through the month.. this gave us extra money to get electric turned on and buy the other stuff we needed - so here's what we got! I feel like a loser posting this, but I'm so excited to be moving into our own place. Baby will have his own room, we'll have a quiet house to go to without worrying about the stuff that goes on here!

*Excuse the cluttered-ness, our room is packed up so there's stuff all over. I'm sure anyone who has moved understands that, lol. And excuse the floor, it needs new carpet. I actually tore up the carpet and scrubbed that floor myself (with a little help from another person) last summer and it needs new carpet put in.

dish rack. white, red, or black.. dishes are black, so got this one.

Once Upon A Child & 24 weeks pregnant!

Posted by Stephine on Sunday, July 3, 2011. Filed under: , , ,
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Before I say anything else, WE GOT THE APARTMENT! :) It will be ready on Wednesday, but of course we won't have the money until Friday! But I'm excited to just KNOW that we have it. I was supposed to call on Thursday to see if we got it and they called us today! :)

And I'm officially 6 months pregnant today :)
Baby finally has a name as well :) You'll find out when he's here!

Yesterday we took a trip out to our local (local aka 30 minute drive) Once Upon A Child.

New Prenatals

Posted by Stephine on Thursday, June 30, 2011. Filed under:
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(I just blogged yesterday, check out our diaper stash!)

We had a night run out to Walmart and just got back a few minutes ago. Daddy's check came in and he got himself 2 games for his XBOX360. I think it's the only thing he's got himself since he started working and it's the only thing he'll be able to get for awhile so I wasn't saying no, haha.

I went to pick up more vitamins because I'm almost out of the ones I'm currently taking. I wanted to post like a mini first impressions in case some girls are like me. I was taking Flintstone Completes (my doctor did approve these) because I was scared prenatals would give me morning sickness. Now that I'm past that point, I seen the bottle with a big, giant "PRENATALS" printed on it right beside those vitamins and looked at the dosages.

The Vitamin & Price Comparisons:

Baby Stuff = Happy Mommy :)

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I was a little sad earlier as the guy from the apartment called and things are a little iffy. We might still get it though, so we're going to take the money down for the background checks for us and we'll go from there. I was really upset because I planned on taking the money down tomorrow and getting it, but it didn't work that way so I can just hope for the best from here. We still definitely have a chance to get it, it might just take a little longer.

So needless to say, I got my card today from my out-of-state family that had money towards my diaper party last Sunday.. and my boyfriend nicely (he was tired from work and didn't want to go anywhere) took me out to Toys R Us (because they always have a deal - stay tuned for it!) to buy a few things. I absolutely love all things baby.. in case you haven't noticed (so does he, haha) :)

Toys R Us seems to always have deals, so we went there first before Target and ended up making the right choice. If you buy a 92 count or more of certain diapers (Huggies and Pampers were included), you get 50% off a big box of wipes up to a 576 count. The diapers were $41 something, the wipes were $15 something, so we spent about $50 for all that stuff! And then I got his first pack of washcloths. They're bright neon colors and I love them!

So now, here's our stash as of today. The big box of 1-2's we got a few months ago (I think I was only about 3 months pregnant lol) and the rest are from family and friends from our diaper party :) Plus we have a 576 count of wipes, a 360 count of wipes, and a couple normal sized wipes packs.

Walmart, Ebay & Resale Shop Haul

Posted by Stephine on Tuesday, June 28, 2011. Filed under: , ,
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So, especially with what's going on lately (we're very close to hopefully getting our own apartment), we've had to cut way down on baby shopping. This absolutely sucks because we both love baby stuff, especially the clothes. Sometimes I just look at the clothes and try to imagine my little monster in them :) So anyway, here's a quick clothes haul from the past few weeks! (And a quick belly shot from today!)

Walmart Clearance $7.00 0-3 months

Kali Vise Handmade

Posted by Stephine on Monday, June 27, 2011. Filed under: ,
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I'm an avid supporter of home based companies, whether it be they're selling makeup, soap, jewelry, or in this case.. adorable baby stuff! I may be a little biased because I think just about anything baby is the most adorable thing ever (well, almost anything), but I think you'll agree with me once I get going :)

I have not (yet) purchased from this shop before, nor have I received anything at all for this post so I cannot vouch for quick shipping or customer service (though I've heard nothing bad!), but I have talked to Kali just a little bit and she's the sweetest! Anyway, I just want to blog about Kali's awesome handmade items so that others can enjoy. I learned about her company through SamSchuerman on Youtube (probably the sweetest mommy vlogger ever!) when she received a package from Kali and I absolutely fell in love with the blanket she received.. and I'm going to support anything that I like!

*I would love to work from home making things that make people happy*

Kali Vise Handmade specializes in stylish handmade home decor, fun accessories and cute baby items.All of the items in my shop are fully customizable, created in a smoke free environment and are made from quality materials. New items added weekly! If you want something that isn't pictured, please message me and let mek now what you'd like! I Love creating custom pieces!!

Everything you buy from her can be customized to your liking. She sells blankets, headbands, binky clips, burp cloths, and blanket sets. (Blanket sets are a blanket, burp cloth, and binky clip in one package.) Click her Etsy shop for more.. (or her facebook!) as she also sells other things like wedding items!

Gosh, I ramble a lot.. without further ado, here are pictures show casing her work. All pictures belong to her, I did not take them! Remember, these are just examples, she does custom work!

Binky Clips


Posted by Stephine on Sunday, June 26, 2011. Filed under:
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This was too funny not to document. I just had a Braxton Hicks probably 5 minutes before this (full bladder.. I just get so tired of peeing!) and got kinda nervous that I was having another one. Ahhh, no.. I laid down flat on my back and this is what I see.. someone's little butt sticking out. He must have been trying to get comfy, lol.

I am completely flat in this LOL

I also felt his foot (I think.. he's been head down forever now) earlier. My computer moved up a little bit (I don't set it on me all the way, just the bottom part a little) and I put my hand there and I felt a body part! Like I felt him pushing and pull away, not just a kick.. it was awesome!

23 weeks & Diaper Party!

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First, let's just get the 'holy crap' out of the way, I turned 23 weeks pregnant today! I'll be 6 months pregnant in a week and that's just crazy!

Baby boy is nice and healthy.. a little too healthy, lol. I had my follow up ultrasound on Thursday.. we still didn't get great pictures of his face, but we got good enough ones. His heart, face, kidneys, and my amniotic fluid are all great! He weighed a whopping 1 pound 5 ounces and I'm only measuring 3 days ahead!

Target Baby Registry Goody Bag

Posted by Stephine on Wednesday, June 22, 2011. Filed under:
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This post is for soon-to-be mommy's who haven't registered for their baby yet. When you register through Target, you get an awesome little goody bag so I'm gonna show you what all you get! I'm sure they're premade so I don't know if they're all the same, but you'll get an idea! If you're like me and like surprises in these types of gifts, don't read further because I'm posting pictures of it all!

P.S. I first registered online and they sent me a huge magazine type book that has basically like.. everything Target Baby that they sell. I didn't get a magazine from the in-store place, so I think you might have to start your registry online for it? I didn't even know I was getting one from signing up until it came.. maybe 6 weeks later?

Random picture of my youngest fur baby because I accidentally opened it, haha.

Goody Bag!

Comes with a $1 off attached for Target Cafe.

Diaper sample (inside this are diaper and wipes coupons) and a small travel/sample wipes pack, $20 off at, Johnson's Baby Lotion mini, 1 breastmilk storage bag to try, and 2 disposable nursing pads.

TONS of coupons.. one includes a free pack of little formula's and as you can see, lots of great coupons for formula, wipes, etc. I might send out these coupons to someone who needs them because I'm not sure I'll use them all!

This lists things you might need (different cribs for different ages, car seats for each stage, etc) as well as baby things you'll need up to 12+ months, very helpful!

Hope you like! I have a (very) small clothes haul from Walmart coming up and I have my ultrasound tomorrow. I rescheduled my follow up because of ride issues so I get to go in tomorrow for it. Who thinks he's at least a pound now?! He was 12 ounces 3 weeks ago! The ultrasound tech gave us a few extra pictures of him last time we had an 'emergency check up' (when dr couldn't find his heartbeat bc of my tilted uterus) so I'm hoping she'll give me a few pictures, we'll see :)

22 weeks!

Posted by Stephine on Sunday, June 19, 2011. Filed under:
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Oh my.. 22.. are you kidding me?! I still go back to the day I found out, I was a little over 4 weeks pregnant. February 17th. I wanted a belly right then and there and now I stare at it every time I see a mirror :) I just posted on Twitter.. "i always click on my profile pictures, especially this newest one.. not bc i'm conceited, but because i never thought that would be me." and it's so true. My current profile picture is the one you see to the right from my 21w 5d picture :) There's a comparison picture a few blogs down from last time I wore that. Anyway, onto the fun part :)

that watermelon has been my go to lately, yum!

Gift Onesies & 1st Sleep Sack

Posted by Stephine on Friday, June 17, 2011. Filed under: , ,
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Today we went out to run over to our favorite baby store.. but it was hot and this momma was not feeling good at all. The heat is really killing me while being pregnant, lol. I picked a few things, but we're trying to save money, are already low on money, and of course have a baby shower in August (plus gifts <3 we've been getting). But I seen this cute sleep sack and we don't have any of these at all. I got it for $1.75 :) I just realize the sleeves have attached hand covers too.

0-3 months

To explain that you should try out a baby resale shop if you have one. This is a Child of Mine Carter's outfit, which runs about $12.00 on their website.. and it's just like new! We did have to search a few to find one we like, but we love the one we've picked! They know us already!

This is the print.. animals playing sports :)

Then I got a package in the mail today. Package and mail are two of my favorite words :) My grandma sent us 2 little onesies and they're super adorable :)

I'll post my Target goody bag post soon, I keep forgetting :P Until next time..